Feeding My Soul

The last few weeks have been a glorious ride adjusting to the new home and environment and culture of this place. We have had beautiful weather (80s), a massive fire less than 10 miles from us which forced smoke into our community on a constant basis, and we've had not-so-beautiful weather (about 105 degrees every day).

On a personal level, I am dealing with some heart issues concerning who I am, what makes me me and if I am currently investing in myself at all. I find that as a mother I have easily shifted toward the give-it-all-up-don't-do-the-things-which-feed-my-soul-because-I-don't-have-time-and-I-am-too-busy-anyway attitude. Actually, I think I have found myself there unexpectedly. I don't believe I intended to show up in a place where I have become unhappy with my life and what I am doing (staying home with my kids). As a matter of fact, I know that there is nowhere else I would rather be than taking care of my precious girls, teaching them and modeling to them how to love Jesus. But, somehow, I let myself get to a place where I haven't enjoyed it. And God gave me revelation as to why.

I don't feed my own soul anymore. I don't do any of the things that I used to enjoy doing that make Megan tick. I don't take time for me.

This is not what the core of motherhood is about, yet it is what it has become for many women taking care of their children or working and taking care of their children.

I want to take a little time to invest in such a beautiful creation as myself. I am lovely and I have infinite value and worth as a person; as a woman. I want to say "Thank you" to my Father for giving me the beautiful gift of me and I want to steward that gift with care and respect.

Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out;
you formed me in my mother's womb.
I thank you, High God—you're breathtaking!
Body and soul, I am marvelously made!
I worship in adoration—what a creation!