Reflections

I have a desire and impression that I need to share in detail some of the experiences in Benj and I's life that has brought us here to this place we are now.  I thought I would blog about them as a record of God's faithfulness to us as singles, a couple, and now as a young family.  I know that reflecting on the goodness of God is so important and something that God desires for us to do regularly.  In light of that, I think I will start a series of posts called "Reflections" to capture some of the adventure that we've been on so far.

Benj and I have been married for about 5 1/2 years.  The story of our wedding is nothing short of a miracle.  I would say that our wedding would have cost us at least $5,000.00, but because of our generous Father in heaven, it was completely free!

We didn't have a typical dating relationship that progressed from boyfriend/girlfriend to engagement to marriage.  As a matter of fact, the day after we started officially dating we were talking about getting married.  We had been very good friends for a whole year, with no ulterior motives, mind you, and when we decided to start our relationship, we knew it was under one condition, and one condition only: that we were going to get married.  So, in a sense, we were engaged from the very beginning when things got romantic between us.

We dated for three weeks before heading to different countries for three months so that we could lead outreaches for a DT* that we were staffing.  Benj went to east Africa, and I went to southern Europe.  We came back from those outreaches feeling that God was directing us both to spend some significant time in Gh*na, where Benj is from.  We went there for three months with the intention to both go to the States after that to pursue getting married.  Benj didn't get his visa for the U.S. in the timing we were hoping (a story for another Reflections post) so I came home while he stayed in Gh*na for another two months.  While I was home, I had no job and was unable to make any money.  I had just come off of nine months of being gone in missions overseas so I had no money to my name.  Benj was miraculously granted his visa and joined me stateside the day after Hurricane Katrina hit Louisiana.  On that same day, we were driving home from Denv*r (where he flew in to), and we decided that we would get married exactly six weeks from that day, on October 8th, 2005. 

We literally had no idea where the money and services that went into planning a wedding were going to come from.  With only the Word of God and an assurance in our hearts that we were on the right path, we set out to plan our wedding in faith.  Each day, we would wake up and dream about what we wanted and then we would pray together and ask God to provide the money and resources to make that happen.

Truthfully, God had been on the move to come through for us since before Benj made it to the States.  I was having lunch with some ladies in our church while he was still in Gh*na and I was telling them our hopes to get married.  They each started sharing idea after idea of how to have a wonderful wedding for cheap.  All that was required to see it come to pass was a little bit of creativity and flexibility on our part.  I treasured what these ladies suggested and stored them in my heart.

We went to try on dresses at David's Bridal and I could find nothing that I was head-over-heels in love with not to mention the fact that we had zero dollars to put toward buying one anyway.  I had a friend who was engaged to be married a few years prior to when Benj and I were going to get married and she had been to David's Bridal and had purchased an elegant, strapless, pristine white wedding gown adorned with beautiful pearl beading.  Sadly, her wedding never happened, and she had never gotten rid of this dress.  The interesting thing is, this friend was several sizes smaller than me so I figured that this dress would not be an option.  One day, I came home to my house to find that dress hanging on the outside of my closet, so I tried it on for grins and giggles. 

It fit like a glove.

You see, this friend had never had time to have this dress tailored to her size before her engagement was broken off, so it remained the perfect size for me!  It was gorgeous and simple yet elegant.  Exactly what I had been looking for!

 We had amazing family friends who offered to host the wedding at their house for free, a charming country farmhouse located on a fruit orchard.  Not only did they host the wedding for free, they paid for and cooked our rehearsal dinner and also hosted it at their house!


A sweet friend of ours offered to make a small, personal wedding cake for free as well as order a couple of sheet cakes to feed all the guests at the wedding and pay for that as well.

 Another friend suggested that we have our reception at the same house as the wedding at a different part of the orchard and have it as a fall picnic/potluck where we wouldn't have to hire more chairs/tables or pay for food to feed our guests.  So we just included a request in our wedding invitations for guests to bring a dish to share at our reception.

Our invitations were sent out by email.  We took a picture of ourselves and a friend created a beautiful layout on his computer for us to send out to people.

Another friend offered to coordinate all of our wedding for us.  She paid for and arranged all of our flower bouquets as well as boutineers and corsages.  She directed the rehearsal and made the day completely seamless and worry-free for us!

Yet another friend offered up her talent in photography, and though not a professional photographer at the time, we were thrilled to accept her generous offering to take our wedding pictures.  All the pictures you see here were taken by her--AMAZING!

And two other friends took footage and created a beautiful and classy wedding DVD for us all for free as well!

One evening before the wedding, we were invited over to a young couple's house that went to the church we attended.  At the end of the evening, they handed us an envelope with $400 in it.  It was the final money that we needed to rent our chairs for the wedding and buy our rings.  So Benj proposed to me two weeks to the day before the wedding, on the day of my bridal shower (hosted completely for free by my awesome sister).  He hid the ring in a small glass that was on a tray of breakfast that he served me in bed that morning.  As I ate, he revealed the ring and asked me to marry him and the rest is history :)

I don't think this needs to be said, but everything down to the last detail was taken care of by our friends and family in our church and beyond.  Even our sound person, who was also our DJ, did everything for free. 

My wedding is a testimony to the beauty of the Body of Christ, coming together, offering their gifts and talents to bless another.  To be who they were and take a bit of time to sacrifice, plan and prepare to bring an event to completion and to support the lives of two people who were choosing to join their lives together.  It certainly was nothing less than divine, a true expression of the Father's heart to lavish His love and generosity upon us, His helpless children!