Daily Provision

The name of my blog is "Eternal Made Reality".  The reason for that is that I want to share my experiences concerning taking things that are eternal and incorporating them into my every day life.  I want to be able to simplify the seemingly complicated spiritual truths and explore how they can become a part of normal living, each moment, every day. 

Benjie and I and our three girls are missionaries who live without a steady paycheck.  Most people call that "living by faith", but a good friend of ours once encouraged me that ALL of us are living by faith because no matter where you get your money from, it ultimately comes from the God who "owns the cattle on a thousand hills."  (Psalm 50:10).  Friends and family who know and love us and believe in what we are doing support us with their finances.  We have a few steady supporters, others come and go. We have had a few drop off, and we have picked up a few new ones.  It is an incredibly adventurous lifestyle for me, considering that my personality causes me to prefer things as exact, organized and planned as possible.  That can't happen in the way that we have chosen to live our lives (and it is an absolute PLEASURE to live this way; I'm so very grateful for it).  Needless to say, I have been stretched a lot.  The last time we were doing missionary work in Europe, I only had to trust God for myself.  Now, I trust God with myself, my husband, and our three children.  It is an infinitely greater level of reliance on the Lord, one in which I am failing at often.

I want to say that being a SAHM (stay-at-home-mom) who is in charge of our finances has been so good for me and the Lord has been challenging me in a great way about the reality of living like He really is our Provider.

He has been asking me to go deep in my thinking process about what will happen if we don't (which is frequently the case) have enough income to cover our staff fees (money that we pay the base we live on to cover rent and food) and our bills.  I am consistently having to prayerfully make decisions about which of those two categories is more important to put my money toward.  And, yet, we haven't come up short.  Sure, in the short term we may, but in the long term, we have always gotten those things covered one way or another.  And I would definitely call that the sneaky provision of God-you never really know where it comes from or how it happens, but it does.  Every time.  

The Lord has led me to understand that even if He chose not to provide those things that I need, He is bigger than all of the consequences that would ensue.  And it is His job to provide for us, not mine to try to conjure up the provision.  So, if it is not provided (of course assuming that our hearts are in the right spot with Him), then it is His fault, not mine.  Therefore, being the incredibly amazing, good God that He is, He will cover the consequences!  I've even thought about if we lost our phones, our internet, if we couldn't drive our cars b/c we didn't pay our insurance or couldn't afford gas, if we got kicked out of our house and were forced out of our lifestyle as missionaries (all worst-case scenarios), then God will have to provide for those situations.  The fact is, people, we have no other choice.  I do not choose nor want to live my life in a way that will hinder what God wants to provide.   I don't even make enough money to have the luxury to not choose that way of thinking.  And, frankly, I prefer it that way.  
 "As a father has compassion on his children,
   so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him;
 for he knows how we are formed,
   he remembers that we are dust.
 The life of mortals is like grass,
   they flourish like a flower of the field;
 the wind blows over it and it is gone,
   and its place remembers it no more.
 But from everlasting to everlasting
   the LORD’s love is with those who fear him,
   and his righteousness with their children’s children—"

Psalm 103:13-17

So, for those of you out there who struggle with the same fears and concerns over your finances, you can join me in remembering every day the benefits of the unbelievable Father who parents us!