To Glory in Tears

I have always been ashamed to cry in front of others. It is something that I have struggled with for years; ever since I can remember actually. Lately I have come to understand that for me, crying is many times the release of a lot of other intense emotions that have been brewing for awhile in my innards. I need to cry. I always feel much relief when I am through.

Here is my issue: I have always seen crying as a weakness. It was not modeled to me well by my family because I come from a long line of single women survivors. And survivors they were and are. The problem with needing to survive apart from God is that it really leaves no room for the seemingly "weaker" emotions such as crying or fear. Favorable emotions are only favorable from a survivor's standpoint because they do not make them lose ground. Emotions like anger. Anger doesn't always make a person look weak; it can actually boost the pride in someone. I saw a lot of anger growing up. But crying was a private thing lest you looked foolish and weak in front of others.

Last night, I was fighting back some tears as I was washing my dinner dishes. I was only fighting them because my husband was around and could potentially pop around the corner at any moment and see me in this state of weakness. And then I heard my favorite voice in the whole world speak. The voice of my friend, Holy Spirit. He said to me that "Those who cry are not weak, rather they are strong. Tears are a sign of strength. How could I, the collector of tears, say that tears are a weakness? It is against my very nature. It is right to glory in tears because each one is precious in my sight." He is always the voice of freedom in my heart. And, needless to say, right then and there, the precious droplets flowed freely from my eyes, and of course I felt much better :)